Theology & Philosophy of Family Ministry

Church programs are to benefit the growth and building of the family unit to become the central focus of personal discipleship. The first calling to serve is to the family unit. It is in this that the cooperation of the church and home are strengthened. Since the beginning, God has ordained the family unit as the foundation for all human society, directly relating by way of blood, adoption, or marriage. Charles Sell defines family ministry as “Family ministry involves communicating to people of all ages, in as many ways as possible, the biblical and practical truths related to family living.”[1] Marital relations are to be between one biological male and one biological female. The institution of holy matrimony was designed to last a lifetime. Therefore, it is to serve as the model by which Christ demonstrated His love for the church (Eph. 5:25-27). The union of marriage is to provide a standard and framework by which the intimacy companionship is understood in recognition with biblical standards. It is also a means of procreation for the human race.[2]

When examining the doctrine of the Trinity, a valuable picture of family ministry within the church appears. Understanding the Trinity provides the church with a model to understand the members of a family as individuals that are fully equal in their value and dignity[3]. However, each member has a distinct role in the authority-submission structure that is outlined within Scripture. This is modeled in that the Father is supreme, the Son submits to the Father, and the Spirit submits to the Father and Son. This equal structure has to do with distinct roles. Because of each person’s worth, they are to be treated as someone that has been created in God’s image. The husband and/or father holds the highest level of authority in the household. The wife submits to the spiritual authority of the husband but does not submit to her children’s authority. However, she is equally responsible in training the children in the way of truth. The children submit to both parents with joy and gladness by learning obedience and godliness. The church is to reflect this in equality and differentiation of programs and distinctions.

Husbands and fathers must understand their important role in the home – as he is to direct the discipleship of his wife and family. The headship of the husband must consider and apply the joyous responsibility to see his wife grow close to Christ. Fathers create an atmosphere where they mentor their children in the obedience to the wisdom of Jesus. The wife is to submit to the husband with a glad heart, longing to serve and help her husband fulfill God’s calling. Making the marriage an accountability issue, God will honor the wife as she honors His Word. Children are to be taught to act in a way that is faithful to God.

In preparation for family ministry, one must understand that small, an estimated fifteen percent pf people will never marry, compared to about five percent during the 1950s.[4] God uses the family in a biblical socialization aspect on testing relationships to facilitate behavior that is honoring unto God, noting His Word and the model established through Christ.[5]

Both men and women are spiritually equal in position before God. However, God ordained distinct spiritual functions for men and women within the home and the church. The husband is the spiritual leader of the home. Also, only men are eligible for ordination by the church. Wives are to submit to the spiritual leadership of the husband. Parents are to teach their children spiritual and moral values in order to lead them through a Christ-honoring lifestyle example with appropriate discipline.[6] Through parent education, the church will promote the necessary motivation and foundation for these practices to be implemented within the family circle.

Couples should enter premarital counseling before they marry. This is important to getting the relationship off to a positive start, noting the important details and aftermath of the wedding. These meetings establish the tone by which the couple will approach marriage with the attempt to eliminate issues before they are even presented. First, the five levels of communication are to be established (cliché, facts and information, opinions and judgments, feelings, and affirmation and rebuke).[7] This will establish how well the couple is communicating their personal needs to their significant other. Premarital counseling is used as an assessment, alteration, and an affirmation of the relationship. Through development interaction, the social and psychological development of the family is regarded as a lifelong process with each individual family member playing a distinct role in the development of another family member.[8]

God’s intended purpose for marriage was introduced in the creation (Gen. 2:24) and were reaffirmed in the New Testament (Matt. 1:5; Eph. 5:31). The biblical principles for marriage transcend time and culture. The covenant commitment of marriage is intended to be permanent. Pledged in the presence of God, the couple is to live out an example of unconditional love and acceptance of the other. Deviation from God’s intended purpose for the marital union offends the intended image of God (Gen. 1:27). Furthermore, it distorts the union God intended in the sexual union between man and woman. The perversion of the homosexual act defies this image as well, as it negates the natural order of conception (Rom. 1:18-32).

As two families are joined together through the unity of one flesh between man and wife (Gen. 2:24), the union is intended to provide a lifetime of emotional and spiritual support to satisfy sexual desires and the conception-nurturing concept of the next generation (Deut. 24:5). “Marriage and family are based not merely on the creation of God, but on the very person of God”[9] The foundation of marriage predates the Fall (Gen. 2:8-25).

Sell recognizes that the church holds itself as a family-like institution; it paves the way for children to be nurtured the in the truth.[10] In order for the family unit to grow stronger within the church, the first major facet of family ministry in the church is evangelism.[11] The church is to clearly teach that a family is to be composed of husband and wife. This adds to the understanding that this is the best context to raise children.[12] As the family unit is instituted by God, the parents are called to teach their children about God, as it is the church’s job to help coach parents in the best ways to reach their children.[13]

The church is to encourage the development and promotion of the importance of enacting family worship and devotion time.[14] Finally, the family is to pay close attention to the biblical objectives for child-rearing. Through instilling a reverence for God and His Word, the child will develop a concept of self-respect and respect of others. By learning these concepts, children are to develop an attitude that is more open to the gospel than an attitude of hostility. As persons created in God’s image, husbands, wives, and children are to embrace their roles in order to foster an environment that is honoring to God.

The essential characteristic of a family ministry is to equip parents, mainly fathers, to become engaged with the discipling of children. The biblical model for family ministry is based on the parent’s intentional ability to personally engage with children to become the faith trainers for the family unit.[15] Integrating family ministry into the church, it is the position of the church ministry to equip parents to disciple their children at home. There is a foundational concept that is crucial to this. The based concept is to view family ministry as multi-generational, as Paul referenced in his book to the Philippians. True family ministry is where the parents are required to live out their testimony before their children so that they may be able to fully able to live it out personally in using the family unto to share Christ with the world. It is to not focus too heavily on the internal dynamics, but is to check and make sure that others spiritually develop maturely in faith. Getting parent’s connected with their children will determine which route this project will do before all will grow within the context of a happy family life, overflowing with joy for what the Father has accomplished in the name of Jesus through allowing the vessel of the family to be used in a mighty way.

[1] Charles Sell, Family Ministry, Second ed. (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 1995), 137.

[2] David Adams, Professor, “PLED 301 Class Room Notes,” (2018).

[3] Randy Stinson and Timothy P. Jones, eds., Trained in the Fear of God: Family Ministry in Theological, Historical, and Practical Perspective (Grand Rapids: Kregel Academic, 2011), 20.

[4] Stinson and Jones, Trained in the Fear of God: Family Ministry in Theological, Historical, and Practical Perspective, 20.

[5] Ibid.

[6] Adams, “PLED 301 Class Room Notes,” (2018).

[7] Ibid.

[8] Sell, Family Ministry, 131

[9] Sell, Family Ministry, 83.

[10] Ibid., 149-152

[11] Ibid., 17.

[12] Ibid., 78.

[13] Ibid., 77, 150

[14] Ibid., 293.

[15] Michael Anthony, Michelle Anthony, and Ken Canfield, A Theology for Family Ministry (Nashville: B & H Pub. Group, 2011), 195.